well I can't set my house on fire every night
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
zippers are such a cool invention
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
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