we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
