do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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