I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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