Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize