This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
