Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
