She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize