i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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