That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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