My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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