office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
