I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
