Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize