maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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