Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
