end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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