I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
