DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she smelled like a LAN party
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
wow bdsm is so cute
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
