I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
