I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
