Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
