So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
