Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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