Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
