you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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