i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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