Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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