ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
