I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
