So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
