Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
