hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
