There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
