He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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