is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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