; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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