3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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