Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize