apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
