would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
