escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
