I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
