whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Randomize
