I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
