I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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