I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
bring money and cleavage
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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