yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
