I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
