All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
