there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
