he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
