The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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