By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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