My nipple is on Facebook.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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