ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
