we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
