he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
