my sisters under your porch take her home
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize