I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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