did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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