the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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