the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
