no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize