So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
